My trousers are of constant infringement
Too much flannel does cause the embarrassment
Youngsters do laugh as I dribble down the path
Here comes he of width and impediment

My trousers leave much to be desired
They cause me from jobs to be fired
For there's nay a moving piece
Or a hole like in a brief
For ones block and tackle for to breathe

So with great haste I did to the tailors travel
To renew my investment in apparel
But without announcement rain did start to drizzle
And my trousers began to shrivel
Laying bare my ankle revealing the tailor still working within my trouser leg
Such an eyesore rendered him easily forgettable

On arrival Miss Carruthers showed compassion
On departure a promise of high fashion
With measure and sharp scissor
Adjustments did come hither
Though it was not without relapse that her genius strokes
Did not congeal until well into the shank of the evening

So never take a trouser very lightly
Give each leg credance and even crease each leg slightly
'Cos their livelihood is thin and on you they do depend
And anyway without them you'd look daft
(pronouncement as in raft)
And feel even the most miniscule draft

Rod Stewart - the singer